


The Only Hope for Me Is You

by EnbyStiles



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Acceptance, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Bonding over past trauma, Crying Ben Solo, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Found Family, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I've worked 24 out of the last 48 hours and need a fucking nap, Idk how to tag this anymore, Like, Mostly Canon Compliant, Not Canon Compliant, Polyamory, Public Display of Affection, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Romantic Fluff, Self-Acceptance, Soulmates, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, You Have Been Warned, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21984934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnbyStiles/pseuds/EnbyStiles
Summary: “You saved me,” she whispers, like she’s afraid that the sound of her voice might break the spell they’ve both fallen under.“And you saved me,” he whispers back as he holds her close to him. If it weren’t for meeting her, he knows he would have been completely lost. He never would have returned to the light. To his true self.He can’t contain himself. He tilts his head, lets his lips brush her own once more, revels in the feel of her breath against his skin, commits every sensation to memory and prays he never loses this as she returns the kiss with the same level of devotion and longing.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 88





	1. Can I be the only hope for you?

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER! I haven't seen the whole movie. I work in a movie theater and have seen bits and pieces but I have sat down and watched the end twice (from Rey arriving on Exegol to the credits) and IT KILLED ME BOTH TIMES!!!  
> Ben's smile at the end was so beautiful and then my heart broke and I was sitting on tumblr looking at gifs and my brain demanded I write a fix it. So here it is.  
> Also, I've been on a major MCR kick for the last 2 months so the name and mood of the fic are from The Only Hope for Me Is You by My Chemical Romance. Give it a listen.

Ben’s almost out of the chasm when he feels it. Moments after a near-deafening explosion of sound. Rey’s death. Her spirit leaving this place and joining the force. He chokes back a cry when he feels it. It feels like a part of his own soul being ripped from his body, and it hurts worse than anything he’s ever felt. He forces himself to climb faster. Get to her. Because he can’t let her die like this. Alone. And here of all places.

When he makes it back up into the chamber, he feels the breath escape him like he’s taken a blow to the chest. Everything around them is in ruins. No throne. No colossal statues of past Sith Lords. No legion of worshipers in the wings of the now destroyed cavern that was once considered the grand gathering place of the Sith Empire. There’s just Rey, lying alone on the cold ground with her back to him as ash and dust fall around her like snow. 

He struggles a moment but makes it to his feet, stumbles, drags himself back to standing and nearly collapses over her when he sees the blank expression on her face. Her eyes, once the most vibrant and cosmically beautiful shade of hazel, have grown dark and unseeing. No spark of that amazing soul left to be seen inside them. 

It’s difficult, his whole body screaming in pain, but he manages to maneuver them both so she’s cradled in his arms as he moves to sit with her. Even in death, she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, and that thought alone is enough to make him want to scream in anguish. He doesn’t let himself, though. 

He holds her close to him, praying that the force gives him an answer, a way to have her back, a way to see those eyes blaze with determination, and compassion, and strength again. So much more strength than he’s ever had. The answer comes to him in a whisper in the far reaches of his mind. His mother's voice softly telling him what he needs to do. How to use the force to save her as she once did for him.

He pulls back, lets her go just enough to rest a hand on her stomach as he closes his eyes and centers himself. He finds his focus and reached out, deep into the force. Reaching for the spark of life he felt through Rey when she had healed him back on Kef Bir. He finds it. Warm and all-encompassing as he breathes slowly and focuses on that spark alone. On channeling it through himself and into her.

He feels her draw her first breath as a warm hand settles over his own, and he hesitates to open his eyes, fearful that the soft touch is all in his mind. When he does open them, Rey is looking right back at him. Beautiful, and bright, and sitting up on her own now to look into his eyes with a sense of wonder he’s never seen in her before.

“Ben,” she says, barely above a whisper, her voice as awestruck as her expression.

He can’t help the tears that begin to well up in his eyes at the sound of his name on her lips. It’s something that he’s heard over and over in his memories when he thinks of her, but it’s never sounded so right. So loved. Her fingers touch his cheek lightly, where his scar from their first real fight used to be, as if she isn’t sure this is real herself.

A hint of a smile forms on his lips, more tears welling up, and, with the briefest moments hesitation as her eyes dart from his to his lips, she leans in and kisses him. Her lips warm and soft against his own. Their bond, once something that they both tried to keep part of themselves hidden from, explodes wide open. They both feel each others every emotion in that moment. Hear the others every thought. And it’s enough to push away any fears and doubts they might have still had about one another.

When they finally part, Ben opens his eyes to see the stunning smile that lights Rey’s face. Feel’s the smile that overtakes his own. He’s certain he hasn’t smiled like this in a very, very long time. And he feels tears fall at last as her fingers brush his cheek again and she leans in to let her forehead rest against his own.

“You saved me,” she whispers, like she’s afraid that the sound of her voice might break the spell they’ve both fallen under.

“And you saved me,” he whispers back as he holds her close to him. If it weren’t for meeting her, he knows he would have been completely lost. He never would have returned to the light. To his true self.

He can’t contain himself. He tilts his head, lets his lips brush her own once more, revels in the feel of her breath against his skin, commits every sensation to memory and prays he never loses this as she returns the kiss with the same level of devotion and longing. 

The moment doesn’t last nearly long enough for either of their likings. The sound of the war above bringing them both crashing back to reality along with the sound of a ship exploding somewhere high overhead.

“We need to get out of here,” Rey says as she breaks away to look through the opening above them. The tide has turned, they can clearly see the resistance getting the upper hand. The fleet falling. And it’s only a matter of time before one of those ships come crashing down into this place.

It’s hard to stand, even harder to walk, despite Rey doing her best to help support him. They’re both weakened. Both hurt. Even with all that the power of the force did to heal them both. And tt takes far longer than either of them would like to make their way out and back to their ships. The one Ben arrived in was crushed under rubble when the walls crumbled, but Luke’s x-wing is safe where it landed farther back.

It’s a tight fit, but they both manage to get into the ship, Rey sitting a bit awkwardly in Ben’s lap as she pilots the craft and gets them both safely away from the waning battle. They want to help finish the fight, both of them, but they also know they lack the energy and focus needed to be of any real help right now. So, Rey activates the Wayfinder, sets the course back to the rebel base, and engages the auto-pilot.

Once they’re safely on their way, the Wayfinder guiding them through the dangerous stretch of space, Rey leans back; practically melting against Ben’s chest as exhaustion begins to take hold. Ben’s arms come to wrap loosely around her waist, and he can’t help but bury his face in her hair and press a kiss to her forehead as she turns just enough to glance at him.

“They aren’t going to be happy to see me when we arrive. I don’t belong with the resistance,” Ben utters eventually, the exhaustion in his voice clear as a bell.

“Only a few people know you as Kylo Ren. If I tell them who you really are, that the General was your mother, that you helped me defeat Palpatine... They’ll listen to what I have to say,” Rey explains, the bone-deep exhaustion becoming all the more evident as she speaks.

Ben wants to believe her. Knows through their bond that she truly believes what she’s saying. It gives him some hope. Hope that maybe there will be more for him after this is over. A future perhaps, where he gets to be with her.

“Stop that,” Rey chastises tiredly, a hand lightly slapping one of his arms where it encircled her waist. “I can feel your doubts. I’m not losing you. Not after everything we’ve been through.”

The smile those words bring to Ben’s face is enough to make his cheeks hurt, and he finds himself holding her just a bit tighter despite the deep ache he feels all over. “What will we do then? If your friends in the resistance decide to let me go free?” The words leave his lips before he can think otherwise, and Ben finds himself face to face with Rey a moment later, her whole body twisting in his lap so she can look him in the eyes.

“We find where we belong, together,” she says earnestly before leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Now get some rest, it’s a long way back.”

Ben simply nods his agreement, finding it oddly comfortable, despite the cramped conditions and aches and pains, having Rey curl up in his lap with her head coming to rest against his shoulder and her hand resting over his heart. He lets his arms settle around her once again, holding her as their breaths even out and they both drift off into the sleep they both so desperately need.

~~~~~

Here's the song that inspired the story


	2. I'd Be Another Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight, so, I still haven't watched the whole damn movie. I sat and watched some more the other night during theater checks though. So wooo. Anyway, I had this written out for a few days but I wanted to see more of the movie and do a lot of editing before posting it. Just like I have a good chunk of the next chapter already written. I hope you enjoy it

When they awaken, it’s to an alarm sounding from the auto-pilot, informing them of their approach to the rebel base. Rey twists back to facing forward in Ben's lap, managing not to anger any of his injuries as she gets herself situated and switches the ship’s navigation back to manual to being their decent.

Ben stays silent as he watches her concentrate on flying the old x-wing. He doesn’t need to voice his feelings. She’s aware of them all too well. He’s anxious. Worried the others will try to separate them. It’s a ridiculous fear. Rey would never let that happen. He’s sure of it. But he still fears it regardless. He’s been alone for so long. Meeting Rey was like a revelation. He never felt so connected to anyone. Not even his own parents. He knows why, now. Knows that Palpatine has been poisoning his mind for far longer than he could have ever imagined. And he knows now that he truly is and was loved. And that he isn’t ever alone. Not really.

When they land, it’s in the middle of the lush jungle that Ben is certain he’s seen in his dreams before. Dozens of other ships around and countless members of the resistance all going about greeting their returning friends and loved ones in celebration. The reception is the same when Rey opens the hatch and is spotted by a few of the people that know her. People call out in greeting, cheers sounding from all directions and cries of happiness joining the mix as others continue to land around them. Rey helps Ben climb out of the ship. Mindful of his leg. It’s not broken exactly, it had been when he’d climbed up from the chasm. Along with several other bones, which now seem to mostly be mended.

His hair falls in his face as he looks down, trying not to be recognized and minding his steps even as Rey pulls his arm over her shoulder and helps guide him across the uneven ground. He feels it when Rey spots her friends. The burst of joy she feels at knowing they’re both there, alive and well. He lets her go, smiling faintly and nudging her in encouragement to run to them. She does, and he feels oddly content at the sight of her embracing her friends. The three of them clinging tightly to one another and sharing their relief and elation at the others surviving their final battle. At finding their way back to each other once again.

He stays back, one arm wrapping around his own torso as he applies pressure to a sore spot over his still aching ribs. He feels awkward standing there, but at the same time he feels the warmth and joy surrounding them all and it’s like a balm to soothe his anxiety and worries. He also feels how the force sings at the shift in the balance. And it is balanced. Truly. Because the he and Rey are equals. They’ve brought balance to one another as well as the universe by finally being true to who they are.

When Rey and her friends finally part, they all have tears in their eyes and the marks of them clear on their cheeks. Ben almost wants to turn away, give them more time to just be together, but before he can Rey is telling her friends she has something important to speak to them about, and that all she asks is for them to listen to what she has to say before they jump to any conclusions.

The looks of anger and hatred on their faces as Rey turns and walks towards Ben is exactly what he had expected to see. He deserves it. He knows what he’s done and that he’ll have to spend the rest of his life repenting for it. He thinks he can live with that, if he has Rey by his side.

“Finn, Poe, this is Ben. Ben Solo. Leia and Han’s son,” she begins, putting emphasis on the names of their fallen friends and holding a hand up in way of silencing her friends, who both open their mouths to protest. She doesn’t use the force to silence them, though one might think she had with how they hold their tongues at the gesture. “Kylo Ren is dead. Ben took back his life and came to my aid on Exegol. He helped me defeat Palpatine.”

“You honestly expect us to believe that he’s changed because he helped you kill Palpatine? Have you lost your mind! He was trying to kill you not even a day ago! There is nothing that man could do that would change my mind about who and what he is!” Poe snaps, stepping forward as he reaches to pull his blaster from his flight suit belt.

“He brought me back to life!” Rey shouts in a rush, shifting to block Ben’s body with her own. Her words freeze Poe in his tracks, giving Rey time to explain. “Defeating Palpatine took everything I had. I called on all of the past Jedi to help me find the strength to fight him, and when it was done, I died. Ben used the force, the light side of the force, to bring me back. He saved me.”

The look of shock and disbelief on Poe’s face is one that was expected, but the look of understanding that dawns on Finn’s is what catches Ben off guard. It only takes him a moment to figure out why the other man is looking at him like that. He’s force sensitive. His strong emotional connection to Rey undoubtedly would have let him feel what had happened to her.

“There’s more to it than that, isn’t there,” Poe says in an almost resigned sounding tone as he seems to settle a little. He still radiates tension and unease, but he clearly trusts Rey, and wants to know everything that’s happened since he saw her last.

“There is, and I’ll tell you everything once we’ve both seen a medic and had some rest,” Rey promises as she moves to stand beside Ben once again, her hand finding his a moment later to give a reassuring squeeze that doesn’t go unnoticed by her friends.

Finn’s eyes haven’t left Ben during the whole exchange, and in one quick motion, the former storm trooper crosses the space that divides them. Before Ben knows how to react, he’s being pulled into a near bone crushing hug by the shorter man.

Ben freezes on instinct, unsure how exactly to deal with the situation. Holding Rey was the most real physical contact he’d had with another being outside of a fight in a long time. Part of him wants to push the other man away, and another part, being encouraged by Rey’s presence, tells him it’s alright and he doesn’t need to fear the contact.

“Thank you,” is all Finn says to him before letting go and stepping back to turn and face Rey. 

“One chance. He gets one,” he says as he holds a finger up for emphasis. “You gave me a chance, even after learning I was a storm trooper and the things I had done. I’ll hear you out, but if he does anything, and I mean anything, to you or anyone else I will personally drag him to the nearest holding cell.”

The relief and hope Rey feels at those words is enough to bring another faint smile to Ben’s lips along with her own beaming one. He can’t help it. Knowing even one of her friends will give him a chance is a weight lifted.

Poe clears his throat, drawing all eyes back to him a beat later. His arms are crossed over his chest as he looks back and forth between Finn and Rey with his head held high. “I can’t make any promises for the rest of the resistance, but if you both say he deserves a chance, then I’ll hear you out and give him a chance.”

With that Rey lets go of Ben’s hand and steps forward to pull both of her friends into another hug. This time Ben does turn away, giving them a moment to themselves. He can feel how strong their bond is. It’s not like the one he and Rey share, but it’s something just as strong and important to all of them. Something he would never ask her to give up, had things gone differently just now.

A moment later he feels Rey beside him again, her hand finding his as she pulls him close so he can lean on her for support. That, and he feels her desire to be close to him right now. He feels the same way. After all this time they finally can just… be. No holding back. No trying to tempt one another to change sides. Now they can let themselves have this. And neither wants to let go.

“We can use Leia’s office. There shouldn’t be anyone in there right now and nobody will barge in on us. Especially not with orders from General Finn and General Dameron to stay away unless it’s an emergency.” Poe says as he steps past the two, motioning for everyone to follow him. 

Rey doesn’t miss the way Ben hesitates for the briefest of moments at the mention of his mother. She does her best to assure him that everything will be fine as they follow Poe. Because it will be. It has to be. She has faith enough for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to tell me what you're thinking


	3. Face all the Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still haven't seen the entire movie, so please forgive me for fucking anything up.  
> This chapter is like 90% dialogue, which is not my forte. So I apologize for that.  
> Also I'm majorly sleep deprived so please let me know if you catch any fuck-ups.

The medic that comes to treat them is a friendly little blue skinned Rodian with a lot to say about the ending of the war as she bandages and cleans Rey and Ben up. She’s quick to realize Ben isn’t entirely comfortable in this situation, though she isn’t sure why. She doesn’t address it, simply smiles at him as she tells him his injuries aren't so bad. He has some nasty bruises forming over most of his body, two cracked ribs, and a cracked femur. She orders him to rest and wait for their allies to arrive with the medi-droids and supplies they need to take care of his injuries.

When she’s gone it’s just Ben, Rey, and an unhappy looking Chewbacca, who joined them mid treatment, in what was once General Organa’s office. Ben hasn’t been able to look up from the floor since the Wookiee entered the room. Guilt and remorse preventing him from looking at his father's best friend.

“Please, Chewie, I need you to believe me. He  _ is _ Ben. Kylo Ren is gone,” Rey swears as she kneels in front of the Wookiee where he sits on a crate beside the rooms only door. ‘Ben, please, look at him,’ Rey pleads through their bond as she looks from the Wookiee to where Ben sits on a cot beside Leia’s desk.

He does, finally raising his eyes to meet Chewies. Lets himself be stared down. Tries not to look away from the intense scrutiny he’s put under by those deep blue eyes. After what feels like ages, Chewie nods before letting out a low roar of acknowledgement and moving to stand. In two long steps he’s across the room, standing over Ben, making him feel as if he were a small child again.

“Chewie, I…” he starts, but he’s silenced by the Wookiee laying a large hand on his head and ruffling his hair. The familiar action stuns him to silence, and all he can do is let himself be lifted from where he sits and pulled into a hug that buries his face in the fur of the Wookiees shoulder. His feet leave the ground as the Wookiee rocks him back and forth, and Ben remembers all the times as a child he was hugged like this. It brings a new ache to his chest unlike the one he had already been feeling. He finds himself wrapping his arms around the Wookiee and holding on as tight as his aching body will let him.

“I take it that’s a good sign,” Finn says as he enters the room, Poe and Rose following close behind with BB-8 darting and rolling in between them. 

Chewie lets out a pleased ‘whrr’ as he nods and sets Ben back down carefully on the cot. Clearly content in the knowledge that this is  _ Ben _ . The boy he knew that always had trouble sleeping and looked up to his father like he was some kind of god. Not the cold blooded monster he saw kill Han and countless others. He ruffles his hair once more before returning to his crate, where he crosses his arms over his chest and waits for Rey to tell them what happened.

She waits for everyone to get settled. Poe sitting on the edge of Leia’s desk, with Rose standing between him and Finn. She doesn’t miss how the three seem to all be closer than before. Or that Rose seems to be looking at Poe now the way she looks at Finn. She makes a mental note to ask what’s happened between them later.

“Ben and I have been connected to one another through the force since my ability to use it was awakened,” she begins, choosing her words carefully. “At first, I thought it was some kind of trick. A way of him to try and get to me, to tempt me to the dark side. But it wasn’t. We have a type of bond through the force. It’s called a dyad,’ she admits as she looks from her friends to Ben, a soft smile overtaking her features as she looks at him.

“We balance one another,” Ben finds himself adding, drawing all eyes to him. “We both have light and dark within us, everyone does. But together we bring balance to one another, as well as the force, it seems.”

“So, you balance one another. You still haven’t told us what exactly brought about your miraculous change of heart,” Poe points out, earning him an elbow to the ribs from Rose, who glares at him to shut up. She clearly isn't comfortable being in Ben’s presence knowing who his is and what he’s done, but she’s willing to listen to what Rey and Ben have to say.

“Rey killed Kylo Ren on Kef Bir.” Those words get him a round of shocked and confused looks as he continues to explain. “During our fight, my mother used the last of her strength to call out to me through the force. It distracted me long enough for Rey to get the upper hand. She was able to disarm me, and in my confusion she managed to stab me with my own lightsaber,” he explains as best he can. It feels strange, talking about himself but not himself at the same time. Because he is not Kylo Ren. That part of him really is dead.

“If Rey killed Kylo Ren, how are you alive?” Rose asks hesitantly, voicing what the others are all wondering.

“When she realized what she had done, Rey used the force to save me. She was able to heal my wounds,“ he says as he gestures to where the long scar that had extended from his brow down his neck to his chest used to be “and somehow other injuries I had sustained while under the influence of the dark side were healed as well.” He lets his gaze drop to the floor again. He can sense their disbelief at his words just as easily as he reads it on their faces.

“I still don’t get it, how exactly are you not Kylo Ren?” Poe pipes in, trying his best to make sense of this all.

“After Rey healed me and stole my ship,” that earns him an unexpected eye roll from Rey “I saw a vision of my father. He told me he missed me, and that Kylo Ren was dead, not his son... He told me to come home. That what my mother fought for isn’t gone even though she is. I realized that he was right, about everything. Kylo Ren was dead and I had the chance to try and help make things right. To help finish what my mother had started. And to help Rey. I threw my lightsaber, Kylo Ren’s lightsaber, into the ocean before going to search the wreckage of the death star for a salvageable ship.”

“How did you get to Exegol after that?” Finn asks as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, subconsciously leaning closer to Rose and Poe, who clearly are wondering the same thing.

“I’d been there once before. It wasn’t hard to remember the course to take,” Ben says with a small shrug. He’s always had a good memory. Especially for navigation's. He could still remember the coordinates and route to fly from Luke’s Jedi Temple to his childhood home back on Chandrila.

That gets a snort from Poe, who crosses his arms over his chest as he looks Ben up and down. “Alright, so, Rey killed your evil alter-ego, and you flew to her rescue. How’d you know she was there and not somewhere else?”

“He knows me. Well enough to know I would only go one of two places,” Rey supplies as she moves to sit beside Ben on his cot.

Ben nods and looks from the others to Rey. “I wasn’t entirely sure you were there until after I had landed and saw Luke’s x-wing. There’s no mistaking that ship,” he notes with a soft chuckle that seems to catch the majority of the room off guard. “Before that all I knew for sure was that you were afraid and desperate.”

“Alright, so what happened with Palpatine?” Poe finally asks, content so far with the answers he’s getting. They’re starting to make sense to him. And from the looks on Rose and Finn’s faces they’re starting to understand as well.

“When I arrived he gave me a choice. Strike him down and become the empress of the Sith, or watch all of you die…” Rey says with a clear degree of unease in her voice. “I was going to do as he wanted, until I sensed Ben’s presence.”

“Our connection allows us to see and speak with one another at times. Usually when one or both of us are experiencing intense emotions. I was fighting my former knights when Rey and I were able to connect and see one another. She had Luke’s lightsaber raised to strike down Palpatine. Our connection is strong enough that we’re able to touch. Pass each other things. She held back her hand as if to strike Palpatine down, but she was really handing me the saber so I could defend myself and come to her aid.”

The look of surprise he gets from all in the room, excluding Rey and BB-8, is about what he expected. Being able to transfer objects through the force is something unheard of. Ben had never even thought it possible before the moment he and Rey had touched hands so long ago.

“What happened next?” Rose asks, visibly relaxing as the atmosphere of the room seems to become less tense.

“When Palpatine saw I wasn’t going to do as he wanted, he had his guards attack me. I defeated them as Ben arrived. We readied to fight against Palpatine, but he used the force to subdue us. He discovered our bond and drained away most of our life force to heal himself. He said the power of our bond was like life itself,” Rey continues, once again speaking carefully, trying to understand everything that happened herself.

“Once he was healed he threw me down a chasm in the floor of the chamber. I only survived because I was able to grab hold of a ledge somewhere along the way.”

“With Ben gone I was left I was only able to defeat Palpatine in the end by calling out to all of the passed Jedi to give me strength. I was able to get to my feet and fight him. I turned his own power against him. He destroyed himself… After that, I felt the last of my strength leave me and the last thing I saw, that I felt, was the war turning above.”

“I felt you die,” Finn says softly, his expression growing sad as Rose puts a hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him.

The look of surprise on Rey’s face lasts only a moment before she realizes what that means. The understanding in her eyes is enough to make Finn flash a small smile in response.

“The two of you have a strong bond, it only makes sense that you would feel her death through the force,” Ben notes, earning him some strange looks.

Finn nods and looks at Poe and Rose as he swallows hard, steeling himself as he admits, “I was going to tell you both, after I had a chance to talk to Rey. I’m force sensitive.”

“I knew it!” Poe shouts, earning himself a smack in the chest from Rose and an eye roll from Finn.

“You did not,” Rose argues with a fond yet annoyed smile spreading across her face. 

“I suspected it,” Poe corrects, as he looks from Finn and Rose to Rey and Ben. “Alright, pick it back up. What happened next.”

“I managed to climb back up to the chamber and made it to Rey’s side after everything was over. I didn’t know what to do when I got to her, so I pulled her into my arms and held her. That’s when I heard my mother's voice again. She told me how to save Rey as she had saved me,”

“Ben used the force to bring me back,” Rey says again, just as she had not even an hour ago. “I came back to myself and found Ben holding me. The force healed us both in the process. If it hadn’t I don’t think we would have made it out of there,”

Ben nods his agreement. He’s certain if things had gone differently that he would be dead right now. He remembers the pain of his injuries. How badly it hurt to move, to breathe. If the force hadn’t healed him along with Rey he’s certain he would have died.

The rest of the room stays silent for a long beat, processing their story.

“You were the supreme leader of the First Order for a while, what can you tell us to help tie up loose ends,” Poe finally says as he pushes off of the desk and come to stand before Ben. “We took out the fleet at Exegol. But we know there are still First Order and Empire forces scattered throughout the galaxy. What can you tell us to make ending this war a reality.”

The question has Ben taken aback for a moment. He figured he might be asked this, was planning to offer the information freely even if he wasn’t asked, but he wasn’t quite expecting the question to be asked in such a… curt yet earnest tone. “I can give you base locations, access codes, and everything you need to finish things once and for all.”

The genuine smile that comes to Poe’s face makes Ben wonder what he’s gotten himself into for a brief moment. But then Rey places a hand on his arm and he turns to see the look of relief on her face and his worries are forgotten. He can do this. He can help make things right.

“The two of you can take a few hours to rest. We’ll speak to the others and work out the details before bringing Ben in on planning our endgame.” It’s clear from his voice as well as how he carries himself that Poe has made up his mind. He looks back over his shoulder to Finn and Rose before asking, “General, shall we convene the council and get things rolling?”

“Sounds good to me, General,” Finn agrees with a serious nod.

Rose simply sighs and heads for the door. “You two are never going to drop that, are you?” she asks tiredly.

“Never,” Poe says with a laugh as he turns to follow her out of the room. 

The others follow suit and leave to give Ben and Rey the peace they deserve to rest. The door barely having closed before the hand on Ben’s are slips down to hold his hand.

“Thank you,” she says, tone and open and honest as her face is right now. “I know they’re asking a lot.”

Ben shakes his head and finds himself wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she scoots closer to him on the cot and ends up leaning into his side with her own arms wrapping around his middle and her head against his chest. The action and movement is so easy, so familiar, even though he’s never been like this with anyone before. “I was going to offer the information even if they hadn’t asked. It’s the least I can do.”

“Even so,” Rey says, voice showing a hint of how tired she still is. They’re both exhausted still, even after getting some rest on the trip here.

“You should go get some rest,” Ben finds himself saying as he pulls away enough to look Rey in the eye.

“I was hoping to stay here with you, actually,” She admits as she looks down almost sheepishly. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Her admission is enough to have a warmth spreading throughout Ben’s chest. He finds himself leaning in just enough to press a kiss to her forehead before he nods his agreement. He doesn’t trust his voice right now. So he does his best not to take up the whole cot as they find a way to curl up together that’s comfortable for the both of them.

They end up with Ben laying on his back, an arm raised and wrapped around Rey, who’s curled against his side with her head on his shoulder and an am across his waist. She takes care not to put any weight or pressure against his ribs or leg, and they end up both surprisingly content with how they end up. A thin blanket pulled over the both of them for extra warmth in a slightly cool cave-turned-base.

Once they’ve settled it doesn’t take long for the both of them to drift off. The last thoughts either has being about one another and what the future might hold. 


	4. Where Will You Stand?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still haven't seen the movie, but I have Thursday of and made plans to see it with my friend as well as the remake of the grudge. So please forgive me if I stray super far from whatever happened in the first like hour and 40 minutes of the movie.

By the time the council is ready to speak to Ben and Rey, they’ve both been taken care of by the medi-droids and doctors their allies brought with them. Ben’s rib fractures were taken care of, and he was given a set of crutches to use while his leg mends on it’s own. Rey was ordered to make sure he actually uses them.

Rey herself got a mostly clean bill of health. She’s clearly suffering from exhaustion. And she has some minor cuts and bruises. But otherwise there’s nothing physically wrong with her. She’s just run down from everything that’s happened. And honestly, who wouldn’t be after everything she’s been through.

The tension in the air is thick as Rey and Ben enter the chamber acting as the new council’s temporary meeting room. There’s a large table in the center, computer consoles all around showing information to everyone present, and a hologram of the known regions of the galaxy displayed over the center. Several people stand when the two enter the room, and Ben finds himself shifting closer to Rey on instinct. He isn’t threatened by them, just anxious about how this could all end.

“Rey, Ben,” Poe greets with a nod as he gestures for them to come sit between him and Finn. They do and the pilot gestures for the others in the room to sit as well so they can all begin.

“We understand you have information for us,” Commander D’Acy says as she eyes Ben cautiously. She knows how he is. And she knows that Leia believed with all her heart that her son was still lost somewhere inside of Kylo Ren. Poe and Finn told her the basics of what Rey and Ben told them transpired. But she still has her doubts.

“I do,” Ben agrees with a small nod as he reaches out to start typing out information on the console he’s been set at. “I know the location of all remaining First Order bases, as well as access codes to their systems.”

“How many ships and bases are left?” Colonel Ackbar asks as he watches everything Ben types flit across his own console, as it does with all the others.

“In operation? Three major bases remain, but they’re much smaller than the ones you’ve already taken out. As for ships there are maybe half a dozen large ships left. I would have to gain access to one of the remaining ships to know exact numbers. But the majority of remaining troops are in small encampments located across several worlds to keep their population subjugated.” The locations of each get marked on the map as he explains, turning any planets selected from a glowing blue dot to a red one. “When the right codes are transmitted the troops will evacuate to the waiting destroyers in orbit to await further orders.”

“Which means we have a chance to take them out without risking innocent lives,” Rey notes as she leans in to watch Ben’s hands as he continues to enter every bit of information he can into the computer.

“Exactly,” Ben agrees with a small nod before looking up and around the room to the other council members. “I know you have no reason to trust me, but I swear on my life that I want to help make things right and do my part to end this war once and for all.”

The looks he gets from the majority of the council in response are a mix of distrust and cautious acceptance. Only Finn, Poe and Rey look at him with any degree of trust. 

“How can you be sure your codes will still work?” Finn asks as he starts to type on the console in front of him as well. He recognizes most of the locations listed. Had been to several of them. And he can fill in any information Ben doesn’t have about layouts and security.

“As far as the remainder of the Order know, I’m still with them. It wouldn’t be hard to gain access with my codes and lock them out before disabling their weapons and shields.”

“Alright, so, what's to stop them from telling their buddies at the other bases you’ve changed sides when we go after the first one?” Poe asks as he makes the map zoom in on the closest planet being occupied by First Order troops.

“We don’t attack them one at a time,” Finn pipes in, leaning forward to rest his elbows on either side of the console before him. “We have the numbers now, we can attack all three bases at once, then use Ben’s codes to call the occupying troops from the ground on the other worlds and finish them off.”

“Once the ground troops are off world with their weapons and shields disabled, you can give them the option to surrender peacefully,” Ben adds as he begins to enter the access codes and frequencies they need to be transmitted on. “I suspect the offer won’t be taken right away, but I have a feeling there will be more storm troopers ready to surrender than there will be officers. If there are enough of them then they could easily take command of the ship.”

That gets a faint smile form Finn, who leans back in his seat as he looks around the room. “I think we can make this work.”

Several of the other council members start talking at once, discussing their options and how they could execute the plan. Ben ignores them and continues to enter every code he can remember into the computer. It takes a while, but when he’s finished the majority of the council is in agreement.

“Rey and Ben will stay here with D’Acy and anyone that’s in no condition to assist in executing the plan. All able and ready members and allies should get ready to head out as soon as possible,” Poe says as he pushes his chair back from the table and moves to stand. “We need to strike now, while they aren’t expecting us.”

“I should come with you,” Ben starts, standing as well and doing his best not to wobble where his leg throbs painfully from putting too much weight on it. Rey stands quickly, putting a hand on his arm to steady him as she gives him a less than impressed look while holding out his crutches with a free hand.

“No offense, but even with all you’re doing right now to help, I don’t think anyone is going to feel comfortable or safe with you on their ship. And we need our people to keep their head in the game here. If they’re worrying about you possibly betraying them that takes away from their focus on the mission,” Poe argues, arms crossing over his chest as he does his best to look authoritative. He’s starting to get the hang of this General thing.

“He has a point, Ben. Besides, you and I both know we’ll be of little help here. You’re still healing and so am I,” Rey adds. She wants to help. Ben can feel it through their bond. But she also knows that there isn’t a lot either of them can really do at the moment other than offer what support they can from here.

With a sigh, Ben accepts this with resignation and looks from Rey to the members of the council. “If there is anything else I can do to help, please let me know.” With that he steps around Rey and heads for the door.

He makes his way back to his mother's office after that, not bothering to wait for anyone to escort him. He knows everyone is watching his every move. And he knows Rey has a lot to discuss with the others still. So, he goes and sits behind his mother’s desk.

It’s small, like her. With a handful of things scattered across it. One thing that catches his eye is a small red book. It’s old. Edges fraying from years of use. And the moment his fingers touch the old fabric wrapped cover he knows what it is. His mother wasn’t always home. But on the nights she was and he couldn’t sleep, she would read him stories or sing to him. This little, weathered book was the one with all of his favorite stories in it.

The first page is blank as it always was, save for his mother's delicate handwriting across the center of the page. ‘ _ My dearest son, I know this will find its way back to you. As I know you will find your way back to the light one day. I love you, Ben. Always _ ’.

The book falls closed on the desk as Ben’s hands tremble.He brings one up to cover his mouth as he holds back tears and a sob that wants to rip free from his throat. It’s been years since he left. Since his mother left their home to fight the First Order and try to restore order to the galaxy. And all this time she’s kept this with her. 

He tries, but he can’t keep the tears from falling as his shoulders shake with held back sobs. He doesn’t even notice Rey rushing in to the room. Doesn’t realize she’s there until she’s kneeling beside him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“Ben, Ben, what’s wrong?” Rey asks as softly as she can. She felt his distress through their bond. The sudden burst of sorrow and regret.

“I killed them…” he manages to utter before a small sob escapes his lips. He clamps his hand over his mouth when that happens. Part of him hates himself for feeling this way. For not being able to control his emotions. But another part, the part that hasn’t been free for a very long time wants to express how he’s feeling. And right now he’s feeling like he’s had his insides ripped away. He feels the loss of his parents. And the anguish that it was his own fault.

“Ben, you can’t let yourself believe that,” Rey says carefully. “You were being manipulated. By Snoke, and by Palpatine. The things Kylo Ren did weren’t your doing,”

The look Ben gives her is that of disbelief. He knows he was being manipulated, but he should have fought it. Should have tried harder than he did. But he didn’t. He gave in and because of him, his family is gone. And the families of countless others across the galaxy.

Carefully, Rey reaches out and pulls Ben’s hand away from his face. He lets her, but keeps his mouth firmly shut. She holds his hand in one of hers as the other comes to wipe the tears from one of his cheeks before cupping it. “It’s okay to let yourself grieve, Ben,” is all she says before standing and looking down at him with a level of understanding in her eyes that makes his resolve crumble.

He reaches out, both arms wrapping around her waist at the same time as hers come to encircle his shoulders. He presses his face into her shoulder as another sob escapes him. He isn’t sure how long they stay like that. Long enough that by the time he’s calmed down, thanks in part of Rey gently running her fingers through his hair with one hand as the other rubs his back, C-3PO is at the door with a tray of food for them both. Apparently they missed dinner with the others and he was asked to bring them something once it was over.

Rey accepts the overly full tray and shoos the droid away before he can ask too many questions about Ben being there. He’s grateful for that. He’s too drained for much more interaction with anyone other than Rey at the moment. And she can sense just as much.

They eat their dinner in a comfortable silence, and when they’re finished Ben picks the book that started this whole emotional episode up and carefully opens it once again as he sits on the cot beside the desk. Rey comes to sit beside him, and when she sees what he’s looking at she plucks the book from his hands and turns to page before she begins to read the first story aloud.

For a moment, he’s taken aback by the action. But then he finds himself relaxing as he listens to her voice read aloud the stories he’d only ever heard read out by his mother before. It makes the ache in his chest worsen, but only for a moment. And he finds himself getting lost in the story, as well as Rey’s eyes as he watches how they sparkle with delight the more she reads. He’s certain she’s never looked more beautiful to him than she does in this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter. My brain decided half way though writing it that we had to make Ben cry now. Please forgive me.


	5. When All The Lights Go Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally watched the entire movie. Kinda wanna strangle Abrums and now I also kinda wanna strangle Carson and Disney for saying "no romo" for the Reylo kiss at the end via the novelization. So here, I've been working on this chapter for weeks, so I hope you all enjoy it.

The air is thick with tension the next morning. Plans are in motion, and everyone is rushing about to get things underway as fast as possible. Half of the resistance fighters left before the sun even started to rise.

When they wake, Ben and Rey are asked to stay confined in the General's office for the time being. Word got out overnight that the intel for the final mission is from Kylo Ren himself, and suffice to say it wasn’t well received.

So, with a somber nod to the woman who came to speak to them that morning, Ben agrees to stay confined and hobble his way back over to the cot and takes a seat so his long legs are over one side with his feet on the floor and his back against the cool stone that makes up the walls of the carved out space.

Rey feels a bit worried, and Ben’s mood would add to it if it weren’t for the fact that she can sense how Ben is feeling at the moment. He hasn’t tried to hide it since they left Exegol, and she hasn’t tried to block it out like she had been for the past year. Right now, he’s the one that’s most worried. For Rey’s friends, and for the people they intend to liberate with this final mission. 

He doesn’t doubt their abilities. Not after everything he’s witnessed. He knows they can pull this off. Especially with everything he’s given them by way of information. But he still feels like he should be doing more to ensure things end the way everyone wants them to. 

“You’ve done all you can, Ben. What you shared with the resistance will save countless lives,” Rey reassures as she comes to sit on the edge of the cot, giving him a few inches of space in an attempt to help ease the minor feeling of being trapt that she senses coming from him. She wants to do something to ease his mind, but she isn’t sure what she could possibly do in this moment other than be here for him.

Almost without thinking, Ben reaches out a hand and lightly takes hold of hers where it rests between them. His fingers loosely hooking around hers, giving her the freedom to pull away if she wants. “I know,” he says with a tired sigh. He knows there isn’t much else he could possibly do in his current condition, and that his help wouldn’t be wanted by most anyway, but that doesn’t diminish his desire to do more.

“What’s your favorite planet?” Rey asks after a moment of silence passes between them.

Ben turns his head slightly towards her and blinks slowly, unsure how to answer. He’s been to more planets than he can honestly remember. But he doesn’t think he has a favorite. At least not that he can think of at the moment. “What’s yours?” he asks instead. He almost wants to laugh at the cute way Rey’s brow creases in confusion a moment before she answers.

“... Ahch-to. I miss waking up to the sounds of the ocean. And the smell of the air... I felt at peace there, more often than not. Though the local inhabitants don’t like me very much,” she confesses with a bit of hesitation. She doesn’t imagine the caretakers would like her to come back anytime soon. Especially after leaving a burning ship on the shore of their islands.

A soft chuckle escapes Ben as a smile spreads across his face. “I have a feeling I had something to do with that.” The slight blush that’s slowly creeping up on Rey’s cheeks is more than enough of an answer. “That’s where you were the first time we connected through the force.”

Rey nods as she looks down at where their fingers are loosely entwined, just barely holding on to one another but feeling like an anchor of sorts that keeps them together in more ways than one. She turns his hand over, so his palm is facing up, and begins to run her finger tip from the tips of his own fingers up over the lines of his palm and then back again. Repeating the motion as she speaks. “I had just woken up when I saw you for the first time.”

“I was in the medical bay of the Finalizer,” Ben supplies in turn as his free hand comes up to feel where the scar from their fight had once been on his cheek. “Droids had been removing the micro-sutures from my wounds when you appeared before me.” He honestly wouldn’t have known the scar was gone if it weren’t for the fact that the ache in his collarbone and jaw where they had been injured in the fight had gone away after she had healed him.

Rey scoots a bit closer to him then and leans in, her free hand rising to brush her fingers along the same invisible line down his cheek. “When this is all over, would you… Would you go there with me?” she asks, her voice that same soft tone it had been the time she said she would help him turn away from the darkside.

For a moment, Ben isn’t entirely sure he heard her correctly, but the feelings of hope and longing coming from Rey is unmistakable. “Are you asking me to run away with you?” Ben asks, a bit hesitant.

The small, sheepish smile he gets in response is answer enough and he leans in and brings their lips together in a soft kiss. When he pulls back he can see that faint blush on her cheeks again, and the growing smile she can’t seem to suppress. “I’ll run away with you any time you want.” And he means it. He does want to repent for what he’s done. But if Rey wants to run away with him… It’s hard to imagine doing anything else.

Rey’s smile grows at Ben’s words, and before he knows what’s happening she has both hands on his face as she kisses him like it’s the most important thing in the galaxy. Like he’s the most important thing in the galaxy. He can feel the love and happiness flowing through their bond, and he can’t tell if it’s his own or hers or a mix of both and in that moment he really doesn’t care. He just knows it’s everything he’s always wanted.

So, he gives in to it. Lets his arms wrap around her waist as he pulls her in closer to him until she’s sitting in his lap. They’re both still exhausted and hurting, so after a few more softly traded kisses they agree they should spend their time resting and waiting for news on how the mission is going.

Eventually, they end up with Ben still resting with his back to the wall but with Rey now lying stretched out on the cot beside him, her hair out of its usual buns as she lays with her head in Ben’s lap. It’s a little silly feeling at first, but she quickly relaxed when he began to run his fingers through her hair with one hand as the other held in her own over her heart. 

“It’s been hours, do you think they’re alright?” Rey eventually asks. Her worries have been slowly growing the longer time goes by without any updates. C3-P0 has been and gone with their morning and mid day meals, and he had no information for them yet. She had expected some kind of update by noon time at least. They haven’t received any updates since the last ships left that morning. 

“I think for now, no news is good news. And that if anything happens to your friends you’ll feel it before they send someone to tell us,” Ben rationalizes. Taking out the last of the Orders troops will solidify their victory and likely won’t be over quickly, assuming they were able to follow the plan and disable the ships systems before offering to let the remaining troops and officers surrender peacefully. Ben hopes things have gone as planned. Because it will help prove that his intentions are good. Because they are.

Rey hums in agreement before sitting up and turning to sit and face Ben with her legs crossed. “Tell me... When you said you knew who my parents were the first time…” she trails off. The question not needing to be fully voiced.

“I saw what Palpatine wanted me to see…” he admits as he tries to recall the visions he’d had when they touched hands through their bond that first time. “I saw them leave you behind, and I saw you as a child, crying for them to come back. But it was distorted. Nothing was clear aside from those instances and their deaths… After I found Exegol... After meeting Palpatine… I realized his presence was familiar. Like a shadow that had followed me my entire life. Once I returned to the First Order and was able to clear my mind I was able to see the truth as it was.”

He can feel how much this hurts her. Knowing they really died to save her from a far worse fate. One where she would have undoubtedly become the empress of the sith and taken over the galaxy. The thought makes Ben feel ill. He had thought that was the exact thing he himself had wanted. That kind of raw power. And then to share it with Rey. He doesn’t though. He never did. He just wanted to be stronger than his family’s legacy. And Palpatine twisted that in his mind. Or at least, he thinks that’s what happened.

“They loved you, very much…” Ben finds himself saying, and Rey gives a sad smile as she nods.

Rey opens her mouth to say something, but the thought is interrupted before she has a chance to say it as a knock comes on the door before it swings open to allow R2-D2 and Commander D’Acy to enter.

“We’re receiving updates from the the front,” She says as she comes to stand beside the General’s desk. She gestures to R2, who chirps in acknowledgement before projecting the same star map that Ben had highlighted the remaining Fallen Order locations on. The red lights are still present. But then R2 trills with an incoming transmission and the red lights begin to flicker.

Ben finds himself holding his breath as he watches the red lights blink out and turn blue one by one. First the remaining bases on Naboo, Coruscant, and Dantooine. Then smaller red dots scattered throughout the map that mark ships and small planets with occupying troops. He’s vaguely aware of Rey holding his hand tightly as she watches with him.

R2 gives another trill before there’s a crackle of static and Poe’s voice begins to come from the droid. “This is General Dameron reporting. We have successfully taken the base on Coruscant. A number of Stormtroopers surrendered before helping us overthrow the First Order officers.”

Rey and Ben share a glance before looking back to the map. More reports come in from the other groups as more lights go out on the map. There are casualties, but thanks to Ben’s intel they’re minimal. And a greater number of troops surrender than Ben had thought possible.

When it’s over, and the last red light blinks out, D’Acy tells them that Ben is free to move around the base, but that Rey should probably stay with him just to be safe. With that she leaves them, R2 following after her as they head out to welcome back the first returning ships.

It takes a moment for what D'Acy said to sink in. And in that time Rey moves to stand, her hand still holding his as she smiles brightly down at him.

“Come on, let’s go wait for the others to return,” she says as she gives his arm a gentle tug.

Nodding, Ben lets her help him up before grabbing his crutches and following her to the door. Stepping out into the open cavern feels like a weight lifting from him. And with a small smile at Rey, the two of them make their way around various crates and computers to wait at the mouth of the cave for the return of her friends.

It’s dark out, the sky above clear through the openings of the jungle canopy. Hours later, nearly dawn, is when the first ships appear in the sky, blocking out some of the last remaining stars. This time, when Poe and Finn meet Rey, instead of looking at Ben with hate in their eyes, he sees something else. Gratitude.

Today's victories don’t undo the years of damage he’s done, but it’s a start. And from the looks of things, Ben thinks he’ll get the chance to continue working on making things better. He can never make things right. But he can help bring back the balance and make sure the future is better for those left behind.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you guys think? I know there are tons of fix-its going on right now, but I still had to write this.  
> Check out the Lyrics to the song the fic is inspired by [The Only Hope for Me Is You](https://genius.com/My-chemical-romance-the-only-hope-for-me-is-you-lyrics)  
> You can follow me on [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/TrickyHannigram) for more fandom related fun!
> 
> Or you can also follow me on [ Twitch](https://www.twitch.tv/enbystiles) for weekly writing and gaming streams.


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